No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
