I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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