So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
