if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
