he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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