I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
