I just cut my nipple shaving
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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