just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
