let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
