There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
