my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
