what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize