Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
