just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
