i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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