Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize