a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
