im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
