Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
