Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
did i just pee glitter
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
