i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
As shirtless as possible
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
