so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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