bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
