I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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