I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
