you guys were way drunker than both of me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize