he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
