I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
