We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
