is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
