I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
