Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
