11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
