is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
