it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
