Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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