I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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