i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
