dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
