We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you never un-have a 4some
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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