I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
