Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
