His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
