I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
