Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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