I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize