I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
