Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
