I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
