Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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