Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
