But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
