dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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