Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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