i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
do nipples grow back?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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