She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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