remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
