Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
