So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
