No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
