hotel room ftw
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
