my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
