so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
