Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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