ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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