So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize