I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
